Trump Times Entry 216 – The Greatest Imaginary Tapes on Earth

The Greatest Imaginary Tapes on Earth

Days Since Election: 216
Days until Termination: ?

June 12, 2017

Like most of Trump’s shtick the, now infamous, tapes of Comey conversations are imaginary. The Donald made them up to add color his drama while venting on Twitter. Trump was pissed off at Comey for stealing the spotlight, and needed to say something to get attention. So, he went with a classic – Oval Office tapes.

And it worked.

Not only did he get instant attention, with critics on both the left and right all scrambling to write rave reviews, but even his republican congress audience awoke from their Trump induced stupor chanting, “Tapes?  Must hear tapes.”

Yup, just like that, the Donald conjured a new prop to tease us with. And now, whenever things get too quiet or too real, Trump can yell, “Tapes!” and the press will drop everything to follow the shiny object. Nice…

And since their purpose is to distract, not inform, it doesn’t matter whether they actually exist or not. We’re never going to hear them. And that’s okay since the tapes are most valuable to the Donald unheard, shrouded in mystery. A virtual prop in the make America great show.

The republic thought the last circus, the Ringling Brothers’ last act, was back in May. But, the Trump show is just starting and promises to be the greatest ever with political clowns, predatory animals and magic words.

Step right up, folks – the Jeff Sessions high wire act is about to begin. And after that, if we’re lucky, the Donald himself will tell us a story with magic tapes before he makes them and Sessions disappear.

In Peace and Justice,

Trump Times Entry 186 – Tapes? What is this 1973?

Tapes? What is this 1973?

May 13, 2017

What a shock! Our infant and chief has been taping private White House conversations. I wonder where he got the recording equipment – maybe Goodwill? No, can’t be, Trump doesn’t do goodwill. The only reasonable explanation for Trump’s technology choice is a “tip of the hat” to Richard “Tricky Dicky” Nixon. A tribute to crooked presidents passed or maybe it’s a subtle detail in the Donald’s program to make America great again – you know, by going back to analog.

But actually, there’s no need to care about Trump recording conversations or the technology he uses for blackmail and bullying. Let’s remember, when Trump says something, he’s always lying to make himself appear the tough, alpha guy. So, whether on tape, mp3 or vinyl any Trump recorded conversations are at least fifty percent bullshit. Hence, unlikely to provide insight.

Plus, if we want really interesting recordings of White House conversations – you know, incriminating stuff with audio quality so high we can hear him mouth breathing – we should just ask the Russians for theirs.

Just saying comrade…

Over the last one-hundred-eighty-six post-election days my blogs have been getting shorter and shorter. This is not because I have less to say, but rather an attempt to limit my exposure to something as toxic as the Donald. I suspect overexposure to Trump causes the human mind to stretch beyond reasonable endurance and snap, leaving a tangled unusable mess – like an old Ted Nugent eight track tape left out in the sun, back in seventy-three.

The republic needs Trump in prison and everyone knows it – even Republicans.

In Peace and Justice,

While evidence of collusion and treason continues to build up, I’m still betting on heart attack or stroke as the Inevitable Trump Termination Event. Guess I’m just a romantic.