Trump Times Entry 288 – Settle It Aaron Burr Style

Settle It Aaron Burr Style

August 24, 2017


While glancing through this morning’s news I noticed the boys are still feuding. As a matter of fact, the Donald’s stepped up his scuffle with Mitch McConnell by tweeting a new storm of petty insults. Yeah, the Donald’s really ticked-off because Mitch couldn’t get the votes to gut healthcare and miffed that Mitch won’t even protect his president from the senate Russia investigation. #disloyal

We all know the Donald has no tolerance for disloyalty and proves it by loyally attacking people in his own party whenever convenient. #sad #funny

Trump’s twitter sniping has been building since Trumpcare was defeated in the senate and recently Trump’s begun taking shots at Mitch in speeches. Much to the delight of Trump supporters everywhere, the Donald even got into a screaming match with Mitch during a late-night phone call. White House sources report that the Donald called Mitch about “that Russia thing” and raised voices and swearing ensued. Apparently, someone’s passionate about Russia.

Now, Mitch has started to fight back. He’s (sort of) privately said Trump does not have the chops to be president and has directed RNC cash to candidates Trump is actively opposing. It’s Ironic that Mitch is funding candidates who spoke against his healthcare bill just because Trump hates them.

Ironic, but amusing, the Donald-Mitch fight promises to escalate. It won’t be pretty.

Rather than subject the country to weeks, perhaps months, of political infighting, with Trump tweeting nasty made-up shit and, maybe, making up some childish nickname for Mitch (I fear he’ll go with something like “Mitch the Bitch” or “Turtle Boy McConnell” – yuck!) they should settle it like men did back when America was great.

Pistols at twenty paces.

Sure, it’s a bit extreme, but what the hell? There is historical precedent and both these guys favor old, traditional, American values. Think of the market value – we could pay off the national debt with tiered pay-per-view revenue. Hell, the aftermarket potential (everything from tee-shirts sales to the auction sale of the actual gun that killed whomever) could jump start a new space program or, even, provide tax credits to the rich.

We’re two-hundred-eighty-nine days into post fake election America and we need some indication of the great America, that was. A public duel could satisfy both the alt-right and alt-everyone-else. And regardless of who loses the republic would win.

Like I said – feeling cynical,

Trump Times Entry 287 – Gimme That Old Time the Donald

Gimme That Old Time the Donald

August 23, 2017


The first step in fixing a mistake is recognizing the mistake. And I made a big one last night when I chose to watch the Donald rant to the faithful.

It was a dark sight to behold. Some pundits called his Phoenix rally off the rails, some called it frenzied, but I found it more evangelistic. The Donald preached to an adoring following. He could have said anything and they would have cheered. So, he did and so did they.

He talked about himself in both the first and third person. (Can second person characterization be far behind? I could see him, onstage talking to himself, screaming “Donald, you’re the smartest guy in the room!” as the intent crowd listened on. Hell, they’d likely chant it right back in old school church harmony.)

For a mind numbing seventy-seven minutes, Trump blundered from one topic to the next. He attacked Mitch McConnell, the media in general, CNN specifically, Jeff Flake, John McCain, obstructionist Democrats and history itself for handing him such complicated problems – #unfair. On the other hand, he did take a moment to praise Fox News and Sean Hannity. #FairandBalanced.

Trump, of course, was obliged to visit the popular “they are killing our white culture” issue, giving a wink and a nod to his Nazi supporters. #Collaborator

Trump always attacks. The crowd loves it. And last night’s crowd was happy, almost giddy – spontaneous chanting even broke out a couple times. But they didn’t get as whipped up as I expected. #Disappointing

Please don’t misunderstand, they, of course, got pretty worked up – they are Trump supporters, but unlike many previous rallies, the Donald couldn’t bring them to a screaming frenzy. This time the craziest behavior was, mostly, onstage. I guess it’s tough to get a crowd properly worked up without Hillary to kick around anymore.

You’d think that after all this time, two-hundred-eighty-eight days since elected, the Donald would have identified and vilified a substitute for Hillary. Blaming faceless organizations and other Republicans for his failures isn’t working very well – the crowd needs a clear opposition face to hate. And blaming kismet is way too abstract for the people he wants to reach.

Sure, the republic understands that Trump’s recent adoption of the Nazi “they are killing our culture” argument is very popular among the Trump faithful, but without a killer’s face the issue can’t be leveraged. And thus far, the only killer’s face is a Nazi face.

So anyway, I probably should address my mistake and stop watching Trump’s evangelistic rallies, but can’t seem to look away. Guess I’m kind of hooked, anticipating the monument Trumps starts speaking in tongues. It should be quite the dark sight to behold

Guilty pleasures,

Trump Times Entry 286 – A No Ceiling, Limited, Commitment

A No Ceiling, Limited, Commitment

August 22, 2017

Really fucking cynical

In his speech last night, the Donald told us where would be no ceiling to the number of troops and no timeline for completion of our sixteen-year-old war in Afghanistan. But there would be a limit to our patience.

In a remarkably specific statement, Trump expressed impatience with the governments of Afghanistan and Pakistan and suggested consequences if they didn’t shape-up. He accused Afghanistan of corruption and Pakistan of lending sanctuary to the enemy – which may be true enough. But, publicly threatening two allies (even shifty allies) is probably not helpful. Then again, it’s not really a Trump speech unless someone gets threatened.

But after that, the Donald got quite nonspecific about everything else regarding the war and the region. He didn’t specify the consequences of not complying, didn’t talk about troop numbers or strategy and offered no goals other than victory. And he was characteristically vague about what victory would look like. In other words, it was a typical meaningless Trump speech – lots of good-guy bad-guy imagery and superlatives, but no substance, no specifics, nothing new.

Except that he’s invited India to the party.

Yes, that India, the one that hates Pakistan – the India that’s been in a virtual state of war with Pakistan since Pakistan was partitioned from British India territory. Great, the Donald’s asked nuclear armed India to help control nuclear armed Pakistan’s behavior. What could go wrong?

After observing the Donald for two-hundred-eighty-seven post-election days, the republic should not be surprised when Trump brings the worse possible people to a venue. He has an uncanny ability to select the people most likely to destroy what’s being worked on. That’s his talent.

Tired of Winning,

The Donald’s opening words about American unity and how it’s required to defeat terrorism came off as a pathetic attempt to negate the division he’s created with his handling of the Nazi incident in Charlottesville. Sad, but expected.  Resist!

Trump Times Entry 285 – See-through Big Picture

See-through Big Picture

August 21, 2017


My confusion may simply be the inevitable effect of these last two-hundred-eighty-six post-election days of Donald exposure. Kind of like snow-blindness, he’s too much stimuli, all cold swirling and white. Trump in the center, everything else, not exactly, orbiting – more like lemming swarms over the edge, messy, hard to look at.

And the mess keeps getting bigger and bigger as Trump incidents become too numerous to track.

Usually, when people get overwhelmed like this, they select the most important issue(s) and focus there. But, how does one choose between presidential Nazi support, presidential complicity with Russian espionage, presidential attacks on the press, the presidential cock fight with Korea, the presidential attacks on environmental preservation and the presidential assault on civil rights?

It’s like he’s metastasized; Trump’s breaking out everywhere!

Nevertheless, we’re about to experience yet another outbreak tonight when the Donald shares his plan for Afghanistan. The press predicts he’ll ask us to trust him with a new war policy. (Oh really? That’s quite the prediction. The conman’s gonna ask us to trust him?)

So, will the Donald escalate America’s longest war or will he stand down? (Republicans favor military solutions; hence, this strikes me as a stupid question. To quote Trump, “You know the answer.”)

Then again, this is the Donald, so he may do something totally random, like bomb Syria again or privatize the project. It’s hard to predict when there’s no apparent big picture. But, with no clear foreign policy goals and the State Department limping along on partial strength, diplomacy seems unlikely.

So, what the hell, tonight we pile another stick onto the Trump heap: Afghanistan. Should work out great.

The republic really needs to determine the Donald’s big picture, but every new data point just leads to more confusion and less understanding. It’s almost like the guy pulling the strings has no plan or, maybe, isn’t of sound mind. Ya know?

One few east, one flew west, one flew over the coo-coo’s nest,

Trump Times Entry 284 – Dick Gregory, a Life Well-Lived

Dick Gregory, a Life Well-Lived

August 20, 2017


Dick Gregory, comedian, activist and writer died at 84 last night. Gregory was a breakthrough artist, one of the first to bring black comedy to a white audience, way back in 1960. His comedy bits were clever and provoking, he pandered to no one; his activism (he quit comedy in 1963 to peruse full time activism) was instrumental in changing the conversation about and, eventually, the very nature of America.

During his run for president in 1968 he created a marketing device called Gregory Bucks. Take a look:

I was too young to vote back then, but always made a point of picking up as many Gregory bucks as possible as I drifted from peace rallies, to civil right marches, to be-ins. They were really popular in the broke student community – not only because they carried that peace-love-kumbaya message, but because they were close enough to real to fool the dollar bill change machines of the time. The Treasury Department seized most of the Gregory bucks before the end of the year, but for a few brief months they were free money, four quarters a shot. Good times.

Two-hundred-eighty-five days ago a minority of the voters forced the Donald upon us to make America great again, but now seem intent upon taking us back to the America before Dick Gregory was an activist. Not so much great, but rather phony, fake like Gregory bucks, but without optimistic message.

I like to think that, if still with us, Dick would likely joke about about how we go around in circles, but follow up with observing that the Donald is about as real as the 1968 Gregory bucks, but without even temporary small change value.

Thank you Dick Gregory, guess we’ll take it from here,

Trump Times Entry 283 – Bannon be Gone

Bannon be Gone

August 19, 2017

Meh, unimpressed

While yesterday was Steve Bannon’s last day as Senior Adviser to the Donald, don’t think for a moment he’s gone. Sure, Steve won’t be darkening the White House with his mere presence anymore, but, as one of the intellectually elite reporters on PBS observed, “Bannon and Trump both have a cell phones – and they been on mutual speed dial or over a year.”

Yeah, the Donald may be pissed off at Steve right now, but time will dull the breakup pain and one morning Trump will wake up in need of the kind encouragement only a cartoon right-wing populist can give. And when the phone rings Bannon will answer his president.

Until then, Steve will spend his time trolling us with his hysterical media monstrosity, Breitbart News. We can expect the Breitbart stories to get even zanier now that Steve’s no longer constrained by the politics and propriety required when employed as White House senior staff. (Yeah, that’s right, for the last seven months Breitbart’s been constrained, limited, because Steve was taking it easy on us. But now, no more mister nice guy. To quote Steve, “I’ve got my hands back on my weapons.”)

Trump could only take two-hundred-eighty-four days of post-election Steve Bannon before realizing the relationship was just too much work. So finally, the Donald dumped Bannon – onto us. Steve’s gonna be mad and he’ll need to express that anger. He no longer has White House staff to yell at; so, that leaves us. Thanks Donald!

The republic eagerly awaits Steve Brannon’s come-back season at Breitbart. We expect new soul shattering lows from the master of digital shit fiction, but don’t expect any change in the what’s left of our federal government. The problem with the Trump administration isn’t Steve Bannon or any other (asshole) staff member – the problem’s the Donald.

He’ll just hire another racist,

Trump Times Entry 282 – Always Darkest

Always Darkest

August 18, 2017


It’s been a gloomy week, especially in Charlottesville, where an alt-right riot injured 19 and killed one anti-Nazi demonstrator. The Donald reacted with simpleton equivocation: the alt-left is just a guilty as the alt-right. The alt-left charged peacefully demonstrating Nazis – interrupted free speech. #BothSidesGuilty #SoUnfair #YeaNazi

Ever the showman, Trump prolonged the agony for half the week by contradicting himself twice before landing back at the “both sides are at fault, but we really need a closer look at the alt-left” position. The Donald really knows how to milk a controversial opinion with victim blaming and bravado.

Today, Friday, we’re looking at more terrorism in Europe, and Trump’s asinine reaction. After an initial civil communique to the Spanish government, Trump followed up with a suggestion: do what General Pershing did and kill Muslims with pig’s blood coated bullets. (Pershing didn’t do that; the story’s an urban myth.)

So, from one point-of-view, the week’s moved from white bigots attacking us with cars to non-white bigots attacking us with cars – and the Donald wants us to stop disrespecting the white bigots, but kill the non-white with magic bullets.

Getting pretty dark, don’t you think?

The national mojo’s been getting progressively darker over the last two-hundred-eighty-three post-election, pre-apocalypse, days. The republic feels that if it’s always darkest before the dawn, we got to be damn close.

Awaiting crescendo,

Trump Times Entry 281 – Will it Stick?

Will it Stick?

August 17, 2017


Trolling Trump is suspiciously easy. Every time he speaks we’re gifted with new material – obvious whoopers and logical absurdities abound. One need only reach out and select from the myriad of absolute bullshit this guy craps out. (Bad image? Sorry.)

(Speaking of crap, how about the Donald sharing his sadness at seeing those beautiful confederate statues removed? Beautiful? Really? Well, from the guy with a taste for solid gold toilets what should we expect?)

So, my choice for today is: Trump addressing our neo-Nazi problem by not talking about it. Instead he talks about the alt-left (which doesn’t exist, yet) and, like I said, shares sadness over statuary. He’s taking a well-earned public beating over giving the alt-Nazis a pass. On the other hand, David Duke’s publicly thanked Trump for his support. So, there’s that.

The Nazi association thing seems much deadlier then palling around with Russians. So much so that some pundits are calling game over – predicting he won’t recover from granting tacit approval to white supremacists. His unhinged, contradictory, responses to the Charlottesville riots and murder cost him a ton of political capital. His millionaire associates are jumping ship. Even some Republicans senators have expressed measured outrage – perhaps there are limits to loyalty.

Nazis?  No politician ever recovers from something like that. Right?

Well, we’ll see. We thought he was done back when that sexual predator tape was released, but, as it turned out, even the evangelicals voted for him.

For the last two-hundred-eighty-two days, ever since the election, we’ve watched the Donald bounce from one scandal to the next, from Russian collusion, to conflict of interest, to nepotism, to Nazi sympathy. Yet he survives because his supporters stay with him, regardless. And chances are they’ll stick longer than the neo-Nazi stigma.

The republic suspects that special counsel Mueller’s is more likely to get something to stick to this slippery bastard than public outrage. The Donald thrives on outrage, but an indicted and convicted Donald – now, that would be something beautiful.

All in the eye of the beholder,

Trump Times Entry 280 – We Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet

We Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet

August 16, 2017


Finally out of the closet, the Donald took up the neo-Nazi cause in earnest yesterday. In a shameless display of bullshit equivalence and pandering Trump defended the fine people who demonstrate by torchlight while chanting anti-Semitic and racist slogans.

The fine people who physically attack those holding opposing viewpoints.

The fine people who murder with ISIS tactics.

The fine people who fly the swastika alongside the American flag.

Yeah, those fine people.

So, we now stand warned. Fighting back makes us as “just as bad”, but not fighting back makes us marginalized or dead. Some choice, hey? And to be sure, the Donald’s stamp of approval guarantees an up-tic in alt-right activity. Why not when Trump’s not just a neo-Nazi sympathizer, but an actual neo-Nazi?

We definitely ain’t seen nothing yet.

The social plague named Trump is moving fast. In a mere two-hundred-eighty-one days since the fake election the Donald has taken us from the audacity of hope to the litany of fear – feared by our friends, enemies and citizens alike.

The Republic stands on the brink – of what, remains to be seen.

May as well fight back,

Trump Times Entry 279 – Now He Knows, Nazis Piss Us Off

Now He Knows, Nazis Piss Us Off

August 15, 2017


So, Trump finally said the words! Finally conceded that neo-Nazis, white supremacist and KKK members should be held accountable. And it only took him a couple days to work it out.

While the rest of us figured swastika banners flown alongside of stars-and-bars flags and all those white guys carrying shields adorned with white-power symbols were a dead giveaway, apparently the Donald felt it more complicated. Ever the deep thinker, he thought the problem came from many sides and required study.

But after a few days of continuous critique for all sectors of America (except for the alt-right, of course), he conceded that, perhaps, neo-Nazis, white supremacist and the KKK may harbor blame. This is a big step forward for the Donald. What next, love beads and peace rallies?

Probably not.

While the Donald finally said the requisite words, even the alt-right doesn’t believe he meant it. David Duke, the racist’s racist, tweeted, “It’s amazing to see how the media is able to bully the President of the United States into going along with their FAKE NEWS narrative.” Yeah, he thinks poor Trump was bullied by the press.

In an anti-Semitic, racist Periscope video rant, Duke went on to say, “President Trump, please, for God’s sake, don’t feel like you need to say these things.” It should be mentioned that during the same rant Duke defended the Nazi who ran down counter-protesters, killing Heather Heyer. “When you’re under attack … you panic and you do things that are stupid and you do things that are wrong,” Duke said.


Nevertheless, on one point I must agree with Duke. While I don’t feel the Donald was bullied, I also don’t think he meant a word of his second statement. Trump simply responded to political pressure and read boilerplate words. Remarkably, he even stayed on message.

So, now Trump knows, when the republic sees Nazis attack and murder other Americans we get pissed off. While this notion may seem intuitively obvious to most of us, apparently, this is new territory for the Donald. After all, it’s only been two-hundred-eighty days since he used the alt-right to win the election, how could he know they would be so unpopular?