Trump Times Entry 41 – Electoral Middle School

Electoral Middle School

December 19, 2016mefront2

Today, the forty-first since the last election, the Electoral College will make its contribution to our political process. While typically a boring rubber stamp to whatever the press told us back in November,
this time around the vote, still a likely rubber-stamp, may at least prove interesting. Since the Constitution does not require the electors to vote as directed, they could vote their conscience. But, we all know one of the problems that brought us here is a serious lack of political conscience. Hence, I harbor low expectations.


Russian novel like in complexity, the republic stands on arcane processes and the Electoral College is just one of many.

Yup, the Electoral College vote is not the end of it. First, the people vote; then, the College votes; finally, Congress meets (on January 6) and counts the votes. Given that most the Republicans don’t actually believe in numbers (Arabic numerals? Very suspicious!) the results of the count are unpredictable.

Once the count is complete any member of congress may object to individual votes or state results as a whole. All objections must be considered by both the House and the Senate and resolved within (get this) two hours. Given that neither congressional body can even agree on that day it is, if there are objections things could get ugly. (Yeah, I know we passed ugly awhile back.)

Once all objections are resolved a winner is declared, the loser is publicly shamed and we move on to the swearing in on January twentieth.

Word is the Trump Transition Team is having problems booking talent for the Inaugural Ball. Apparently weary of Ted Nugent and Kid Rock, Team Trump has offered two, sometimes three, times the usual pay rate. But, no one seems interested. So, as a special bonus, they are now offering “plush diplomatic posts” to A-List stars who climb onto the Trump Train. Kayne West, our Ambassador to North Korea, has an intriguing ring to it – don’t you think?

That’s all I got today. Take care of yourselves and each other,

Trump Times Entry 35 – Comrade Donald

Comrade Donald

December 13, 2016trump-putin-1

Who would have thought on election day, a mere thirty-five days ago, the Electoral College would actually have a substantive part to play? Usually, it just rubber-stamps the states’ delegate counts, tallies things up and then tell us what we already knew. This year that constitutional detail promises to be a little more entertaining.

First, they would like to hear more from the CIA about comrade Trump’s special relationship with Vladimir Putin. The Electoral College is kind of old-school and insists that Presidents limit their bromances to American citizens. They are especially inflexible about presidential intimacy with foreign dictators. This inflexible is codified in the constitution. So, they need a better description of the Trump- Putin relation than “It’s Complicated”.

The College would also like to hear about why the FBI had their hand in the elective cookie jar. While this inquiry does not involve a foreign despot (rather a domestic despot) and has less constitution weight, it does seem a question worth asking.

Who would have guessed the republic would be standing on an “outdated” constitutional construct? Perhaps, the founders were smarter than we give them credit for; I sure hope so.

The Donald, of course, is having a Twitter fit. Beyond the usual broad-stroke attacks on the press, the CIA and the Clintons, he has thrown up a cyber-smokescreen of vicious attacks on whatever comes to mind. He’s attacking defense contractors, union heads and private citizen – we can expect him to continue the random bombardment, hoping something sticks.

Very much like dealing with a pre-adolescent throwing a tantrum, we need to learn to ignore him – while keeping a watchful eye. Don’t let him control the conversation; instead keep focused on how to rid our culture of the parasite. When he yells out, “They might be human, we just don’t know!” about any population group, we need to take note, then move back to working on dumping him.

“Dump Trump!” has a nice ring to it, don’t you think? Let’s focus on that.

Besides, if we spend our time listening to one another rather than listening to the Donald, just think how much healthier we’ll become.

That’s all I got today. Take care of yourselves and each other,