Settle It Aaron Burr Style

August 24, 2017

Cynical

While glancing through this morning’s news I noticed the boys are still feuding. As a matter of fact, the Donald’s stepped up his scuffle with Mitch McConnell by tweeting a new storm of petty insults. Yeah, the Donald’s really ticked-off because Mitch couldn’t get the votes to gut healthcare and miffed that Mitch won’t even protect his president from the senate Russia investigation. #disloyal

We all know the Donald has no tolerance for disloyalty and proves it by loyally attacking people in his own party whenever convenient. #sad #funny

Trump’s twitter sniping has been building since Trumpcare was defeated in the senate and recently Trump’s begun taking shots at Mitch in speeches. Much to the delight of Trump supporters everywhere, the Donald even got into a screaming match with Mitch during a late-night phone call. White House sources report that the Donald called Mitch about “that Russia thing” and raised voices and swearing ensued. Apparently, someone’s passionate about Russia.

Now, Mitch has started to fight back. He’s (sort of) privately said Trump does not have the chops to be president and has directed RNC cash to candidates Trump is actively opposing. It’s Ironic that Mitch is funding candidates who spoke against his healthcare bill just because Trump hates them.

Ironic, but amusing, the Donald-Mitch fight promises to escalate. It won’t be pretty.

Rather than subject the country to weeks, perhaps months, of political infighting, with Trump tweeting nasty made-up shit and, maybe, making up some childish nickname for Mitch (I fear he’ll go with something like “Mitch the Bitch” or “Turtle Boy McConnell” – yuck!) they should settle it like men did back when America was great.

Pistols at twenty paces.

Sure, it’s a bit extreme, but what the hell? There is historical precedent and both these guys favor old, traditional, American values. Think of the market value – we could pay off the national debt with tiered pay-per-view revenue. Hell, the aftermarket potential (everything from tee-shirts sales to the auction sale of the actual gun that killed whomever) could jump start a new space program or, even, provide tax credits to the rich.

We’re two-hundred-eighty-nine days into post fake election America and we need some indication of the great America, that was. A public duel could satisfy both the alt-right and alt-everyone-else. And regardless of who loses the republic would win.

Like I said – feeling cynical,
osv