Trump Brand Fight Club
August 10, 2017
Kind of numb – perhaps, punch drunk.
We’re all members of the Donald’s fight club. Sure, some of us don’t realize it because, well, you don’t talk about fight club – rules one and two. But membership’s been mandatory since the election, two-hundred-seventy-five days ago because rule three of Trump’s Fight Club is: everyone’s a member. The last rule: the Donald gets to pick the fights, is another variation on the original, but consistent with the Trump corporate policy. Hence, fair enough for the Donald, so fair enough for the country.
The notion that Trump always wins is not so much a rule as a social construct. Over the years, we’ve found that when playing with the Donald, it’s best for the Donald to win – it’s only polite. And he gets crabby if he doesn’t.
While discussing the club is not allowed, discussing the fights is encouraged. After all, every mention of a fight will include mention of the Donald and that’s the point – the Donald.
The fights have been numerous: Trump vs the press, Trump vs the FBI, Trump vs Rosie, Trump vs Australia, Trump vs Germany, Trump vs Clinton (still), Trump vs Trump golf club members, Trump vs Trump University students, Trump vs real university students, Trump vs trans people, Trump vs. Comey, Trump vs the EPA and Trump vs Kim Jong-Un – just to name a few.
Of late, the Donald’s even started up with fellow Republicans. His latest go-round with Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell, while off to a slow start, promises to get ugly fast and may entertain us clear through the holidays. Can’t wait for the Donald to whip out the frog insults.
Of course, none of the fights have ever come to actual fisticuffs. If they had, Megyn Kelly would have kicked his overweight ass last Fall (Trump vs Megyn Kelly, October 2016). But to be fair, we can’t expect the Donald to physically fight, what with his bone spurs and all. So,Trump gets to stick with rhetoric and leave the dangerous stuff to the rest of – yeah, I know, another variation from the original rules.
To be sure, the Trump branded fight club rules differ significantly from the original. Nevertheless, the republic recognizes that the Donald’s fight club is based the same base principle: the desire to destroy something beautiful.
Defend yourselves at all times,