Coming Soon To Your Smart Device: The TrumpApp
May 19, 2017
The long wait is nearly over folks, after one-hundred-ninety-two post-election development days, Wet Dog Productions is pleased to announce the summer release of the TrumpApp. This highly anticipated anti-social media application competes in the Siri / Alexa PA market space, but unlike those girly assistants, TrumpApp is alpha male and doesn’t merely assist, but leads. A few of the features found in the beta version are:
Ask the Donald
Ask any question you like – personal, professional, technical, sexual. Ask anything and the TrumpApp will tailor a response that’s all about the Donald. For instance, ask where to eat diner and TrumpApp will provide you with exciting videos of the Donald describing all the beautiful food he’s enjoyed.
The Donald’s News
TrumpApp continuously scans the Web for non-fake, fair to the Donald, stories and automatically streams them to your device. That’s right, continuously. Just turn on your phone, tablet, PC or Mac and immediately see the latest in all Trump coverage.
The Embedded TrumpPay feature
Just enter your credit card and bank account details and TrumpPay will take care of your finances without further need for your involvement. TrumpPay handles bills, orders featured Trump merchandise and manages investments – giving you more time to watch The Donald’s News or play Trump-Online games. *
Provides the very greatest First-Person-Shooter (with the exclusive “chose a minority” feature) and RPGs on the Internet today. Watch for upcoming announcements of titles and demos. (In app purchases required. Twenty ruble per hour connection charges apply.) *
GrabHer Dating Feature
Yup, you too can date like the Donald. Just fill out a profile, attach a photo and the Donald will get back to you with the greatest match ever, once his current wife ages out. (women with standards and men need not apply) *
Direct Trump Twitter feed with auto-retweet and complement generator
Need we say more?
And Much more
* All financial features are managed and guaranteed by the Vnesheconombank (Russia) – Vladimir Putin Acting Director.
The republic need her developers to focus on anti-Trump apps.
In Peace and Justice,