Alternative Interruptus

January 23, 2017

On day four (or day one, if you count like the Donald) of Trump we have a slew of campaign promises awaiting fulfilment. During the coup, the Donald made commitments so brazen they would make P.T. Barnim blush. And now we, the suckers, look forward to execution. (Of the promises, that is.)

The Donald guaranteed about twenty-six “Day One” items – seemingly, a daunting number. But, not for our daunting Donald. Armed with twenty-first century tools and a me-first attitude, Trump will easily accomplish all the goals, and more. Yup, everything from deportations to walls – up and running, American greatness assured.

And if he doesn’t, he’ll say he did or claim he made no such promise. Cause, alternative facts rule!

Alternative facts, featured so boldly during the campaign, are rapidly emerging as the keynote of the early Trump administration. And why not? It’s much easier to conjure up a crowd than to actually gather real people. And, imagine the economy of scale when we visualize rather than erect a beautiful thousand-mile-long wall. I bet the cost will be cut by nearly thirty percent.

Of course, all politicians lie – recent classics like Clinton’s “Did not have sex with that woman” or Bush’s “Weapons of Mass Destruction” define the modern genera. But, the Donald brings game.

In the past, the political lie typically contained some truth and, at least, held the potential to be legitimate. But, in a creative masterstroke, the Donald asked the key question. Why? Why, limit oneself to that which could be true? And include a grain of truth? Why bother, when the only truth is the Donald’s.

With a wave of a tiny hand, Trump solved all (his) political problems for all time (now).

In the classic universe, all we need do is wait for the lies to get so big and unsustainable that the whole thing collapses on the liar. It might take a while, but innate instability of bullshit guarantees eventual massive failure.

But, given that this time the “whole thing collapses” literally means whole thing collapses, waiting it out may be not a good option. At the very least we should make it worse by obnoxiously pointing out whenever he creates a new layer of fiction – forcing him to create even more layers. The higher the crap gets, the more like likely the outhouse to fall.

The republic counts on loud mouthed citizens creating shit-storms for the would-be tyrant. It gets messy.

Meanwhile, in an alternative universe, the Donald will be busy defending the Alternative Constitution on twitter.

In Peace and Justice,
osv